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April 2015

Don’t kill the Golden Goose!

Now (as I have said on a number of prior occasions) your favourite grumpy ol’ sod is not exactly known as a beacon of patience, tolerance and goodwill to all men, women in sensible shoes, and even the occasional particularly toothsome example of livestock, for that matter. On the contrary, regular readers (all 11 ½ - pets count, you know - and counting of them) will happily confirm that yours truly is definitely more inclined to dish out brickbats than bouquets. Particularly to those among us that are particularly deserving of a “Wake Up Klap”. Like the short-sighted, narrow-minded, soon to be considerably poorer, powers that be at the BBC who are, seemingly, currently hell-bent on axing controversial Top Gear presenter, Jeremy Clarkson. Talk about cutting off your nose to spite your face.

Now, before some readers get themselves all in a tizzy and start bleating about how politically insensitive Jezza is, or how crass and oafish he can be – he is. But this is more about practical realities and less about personal preferences. And a whole lot more about the plain old “that’s just the way it is, Boet” facts of life. Not to mention plain old cash. Boodle. Loot. Folding stuff. Yes, Clarkson can be a clod, an oaf, crass and about as sensitive as a brick through your window. All true. He’s also considered wickedly funny by millions of Top Gear fans who are more interested in being entertained than in pandering to the painstakingly politically correct views of the bleeding-heart brigade. Clarkson is also hugely popular (and wealthy) when it comes to Top Gear and a legion of fans around the world will bear that out. Try a global average of 380 million TV viewers in over 170 countries worldwide per episode of Top Gear. Bite me Oprah… Or the fact that the Guinness Book of World Records rates Top Gear as the most widely watched TV motoring show in the world. You know, “small” and “insignificant” stuff like that. But hey, because a few fragile souls at the Beeb have had their delicate sensibilities (and noses) a little bruised in the current fracas, that’s no reason to throw the baby out with the bathwater.

Yes, Jezza has acted like a clod – whooo! gasp! big surprise! He’s coloured outside the lines. He’s been boorish, rude and an oaf. He’s Jezza, you expected something else? But that hardly makes him the Green River Killer, does it? Get a grip folks. The BBC – and folks everywhere, INCLUDING Jezza – need to take a step back, take a few deep breaths and just “calma, Marco”. Generally un-knot their knickers and regain a little perspective. This is not the advent of judgment day, nor is it something that will reverse the polarity of the poles (North & South, not those large sized fellas in Eastern Europe). This is, in essence, a storm in a teacup and nothing that can’t be solved with some privacy, a little common sense, a few dops and everyone winding their necks in and acting like grown-ups. Coz if they don’t, and soon, the world may shortly be a far drearier place without Jezza, Captain Slow and Hamster taking the urine out of those who truly deserve it.

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